Post by Firefly on Dec 15, 2010 19:29:47 GMT -5
I'm currently building a character for a site based on Erin Hunter's 'Warriors' series, a series of books based on wild cats living in four clans in the wild. I'm working on a WindClan Warrior named Rainpelt (She's not Riverclan because Blackear is Riverclan) and need to touch up my IC a bit before I post this bio. Now, this is a site of amazingly high standards, so I want to make it the best that I can before publishing - which is where you come in! I'd appreciate it if I could get any comment on this as possible. 
If it's hard to read due to size, copy paste into notepad, but I need to make it smaller or the post grates at me.
Rainpelt flicked her mocha-colored ears forward, hearing the gentle pitter-patter of early morning rain outside of the warrior's den. A soft morning light filtered in through the opening in the front, though it was dim due to the cloud covering - almost not there. The winds blew roughly over the opening, creating a slightly eery hollow sound within the den. Honestly, she was surprised she was the first awake from the sound of the light storm. Yes, light. However, the wind made a lingering promise that the storm would get worse - this was just the beginning.
She pulled herself up, her light speckled pelt a little bit disoriented from the night's sleep. Waking everybody up this morning is going to be a pain...' She observing, watching them curl up tighter at the gap of cold she left when she stood. 'Good thing it's not my job.' She finished her thought with an idyll flick of her tail, before retreating to a small clear spot in the den to groom down her fur before departing to feed the bellies of the morning cats.
The rain touched lightly at her thick pelt as she walked, feet seeming to barely touch the ground, her amber eyes like orbs scanning the camp, only a couple of other cats having yet awakened, before heading toward the entrance to the camp, brambles of branches clawing at her fur as she pushed her way out, tail up, long legs marching through with the ease of a lifetime of passage in and out of the camp.
'Food will be harder to come by today...' She realized, the thought crawling through her mind at a slow morning pace. She sneezed lightly, flicking her tail at the thought and smelling the air for the scent of any lingering prey, before the storm got heavier...
If it's hard to read due to size, copy paste into notepad, but I need to make it smaller or the post grates at me.Rainpelt flicked her mocha-colored ears forward, hearing the gentle pitter-patter of early morning rain outside of the warrior's den. A soft morning light filtered in through the opening in the front, though it was dim due to the cloud covering - almost not there. The winds blew roughly over the opening, creating a slightly eery hollow sound within the den. Honestly, she was surprised she was the first awake from the sound of the light storm. Yes, light. However, the wind made a lingering promise that the storm would get worse - this was just the beginning.
She pulled herself up, her light speckled pelt a little bit disoriented from the night's sleep. Waking everybody up this morning is going to be a pain...' She observing, watching them curl up tighter at the gap of cold she left when she stood. 'Good thing it's not my job.' She finished her thought with an idyll flick of her tail, before retreating to a small clear spot in the den to groom down her fur before departing to feed the bellies of the morning cats.
The rain touched lightly at her thick pelt as she walked, feet seeming to barely touch the ground, her amber eyes like orbs scanning the camp, only a couple of other cats having yet awakened, before heading toward the entrance to the camp, brambles of branches clawing at her fur as she pushed her way out, tail up, long legs marching through with the ease of a lifetime of passage in and out of the camp.
'Food will be harder to come by today...' She realized, the thought crawling through her mind at a slow morning pace. She sneezed lightly, flicking her tail at the thought and smelling the air for the scent of any lingering prey, before the storm got heavier...
